Reply: Why Guys Fight: It's a Five Step Process ( Are You for Real????)

 

So I didn't finish this post last night and @isaiditnowdeal is going to kill me. But hopefully he'll understand that Gossip Girl was on and for some strange reason that I don't even fully understand myself I have an unhealthy interest in the lives of the Upper Eastsiders. I miss Chuck, Blair and Dan if I don't see them for too long. Not Serena and Nate though. They are  boring.

Also, I'm extremely uninspired to write this post. Why? It's crap. Five step process? Please. Maybe that's the way these things should go, but it's just not the case.

Anyways, I know all week you have either been waiting anxiously or couldn't give a fuck about what happened with Winnie the Pooh.

A couple of years ago on Halloween @isaiditnowdeal and I were downtown with some friends and his girlfriend at the time. We had been drinking for a while and were headed to Taboo to close the night out. The line up was really long and we were waiting for a while. There was a guy ahead of us in a Winnie the Pooh costume who was also waiting and the line hadn't moved. He eventually started saying that everyone should leave Taboo (there was no one inside the club, the line was just for show) and go somewhere else where they're not assholes. He shouted to everyone in line that we should all just go. He turned around to @isaiditnowdeal and said "Do you want to go?" in his friendliest, I'm-in-a-Winnie-the-Pooh-costume way.

It took several of us to hold @isaiditnowdeal back. Even after Winnie the Pooh left @isaiditnowdeal kept trying to leave the line and go after him.

What step of the five step process was that exactly?

Truth is that there are just some guys who enjoy fighting. Most men, the ones who are more evolved, can settle things without coming to blows. But for the ones who like to fight, how often do they go through all of those stages, not have the other guy back off and then still have to swing?

Answer: Very rarely. For @isaiditnowdeal I  guarantee it's less times than he has fought.

No, more often it's not that the a guy keeps hitting on the girl. It's that the boyfriend is so jealous and possessive he can't stand someone else showing his girl attention. He needs to feel like the "alpha male".

Girls think this is stupid.

Do we want you to help us out if we ask for it? Yes. If I guy is bothering us or scaring us might we need your help? Possibly. If the guy walks up to your girlfriend in front of you and says "Fuck your boyfriend, come home with me instead" then by all means, hit him. But, other than that there is really no reason for a guy to fight.

What should happen is: 

- Guy hits on girl.

- Girl says "I'm here with someone else" or, if boyfriend is close by, "this is my boyfriend." 

- Guy says "Oh, too bad." 

The end.

Girls shouldn't be letting random guys buy them drinks if they are there with their boyfriend. If you girlfriend doesn't acknowledge you standing there or lets some random get her drunk with you near, it's your girl who you need to have the problem with, not the other guy.

But, if the girl lets the guy know that she has a boyfriend upfront you need to back down, even if she chooses to finish her conversation at the bar. You need to trust that having some random guy hit on her is not going to convince her to leave you and go make out with that guy. It happens all the time when you're not around anyway.

But no, there are some guys that just can't do it. They need to drape their arm over the girl to mark their territory. They need to throw hard cold stares to intimidate the enemy. You may as well just take off your shirt and start beating on your chest. Drag your knuckles on the ground while you're at it. You look like an idiot and it's very unattractive.

The five step process is just a justification for fighting. It makes the male look good, but only according to a hypothetical situation that just doesn't happen or, at the very least, is not the reason most fights occur in bars. Basically it's bullshit.

So guys, instead of even trying to understand why some males just don't evolve past neanderthal, I leave you with five reasons that we ladies don't want you to fight.

1) It's Embarrassing - Whether you win or lose it's still embarrassing. You might think it's romantic or something but when all is said and done everyone is just staring at us chicks like we're the one who caused the fight. 

2) I wanted my date in the club, not the emergency room - If you seriously get hurt it just sucks. Then a perfectly good date winds up with us nursing your wounds or hanging out in the hospital. It's not fun. When us girls were looking for a fun night it didn't involve cleaning up someone's blood.

3) I don't like talking to police unless they are hitting on me - Actually, I don't even like them then. Unless they are really hot. Anyway, spending the night giving a statement sucks. If the other guy is seriously hurt it's awful explaining to the cops that our caveman boyfriends needed to assert male dominance and that's why the other guy cracked his skull on the curb.

4) Great, now this is my fucking problem - Did we ask to get kicked out or banned from the club? And surely we're now going to be fighting with you all night about your temper and possessiveness. What if you get arrested and now we don't have a way home? Seriously, we don't need this bullshit.

5) You don't trust me - That's the worst of it. What your feeling the need to beat someone to a pulp implies is that you don't trust us not to respond to their advances. If you did trust us you could rest assured that a guy showing us attention isn't going to mean we're going to run off with them. If you trust us and aren't possessive, there isn't any need fight.

I understand that sometimes a guy has to do what he has to do. Most guys aren't going to let a guy hit them and not hit back. They aren't going to take a guy calling them names or shouting horrible things about their girlfriends. Those are times when fighting can be justified.

But to hit a guy cause he thinks your girl is hot? That's just your insecurity talking....err, hitting, since you obviously aren't capable of settling it with words.

Instead, try this: Feel good cause your girl is hot. Be flattered that someone noticed. Feel reassured that your girl is with you. Then let go and enjoy your night.

Cause you know what's really hot? A guy that is secure enough and confident enough to know that other guy isn't a threat.  Confidence is sexier than playing the brute every time.

 Lastly, a present. Cause it's just too good not to link to :)


Read the original post by @isaiditnowdeal