The First Date

Sigh. i.said.it.now.deal is so much more cynical than I am.

Full disclosure. I'm not in the best mood so I doubt that the wonder and magic of a first date is going to come shining through in this post. However, even feeling crappy (it is Monday!) I still expect a good first date to be better than what he is proposing.

I once said, and not long ago, that i.said.it.now.deal was going to be the first person to single-handedly create a trending topic with his own tweets. That hashtag would be #thisiswhyimstillsingle.

His post about first dates is just another indicator of why this is the case. Guys, plllleeeeaaaasssseee don't listen to him. I don't think you should have to break the bank, but for godsakes put in a bit of effort!

For one thing, i.said.it.now.deal is basing this, I think, I hope, on online dating or blind dating. For that, some of the things he says is fine. A cup of coffee is a good place to start if you don't know someone. It gives you a chance to talk and also provides a location with people around - if you've ever online dated and had a bad one, you know how important that can be.

But if you are a guy and you like someone, you ask them out. And if you are excited about going out with that girl that you chose (and I don't mean from a list of bullshit profile photos), then putting in a little effort can go a long way.

I wouldn't call my list rules. They are more like considerations. But guys, note this post is for you. I am trying to help you out!! These tips apply to the real world, not the cyber one.

Tip 1: Location, location, location....can mean a lot - If you are interested in a girl then it is worthwhile to put some thought into a location. It should be a place you can have a conversation, yes. But at the same time picking somewhere you are both interested in and can have fun at can help ease the mood. For me a coffee is o.k. as a first date. But I am way more likely to go home thinking about the guy I just had an awesome first date with. One that was fun and where I laughed a lot. One that made me learn something or was romantic (not overly though) or was different from other dates that lame guys have taken me on. Location can have a lot to do with that. It isn't everything - you'll either wind up having a good time (or not) wherever it is you go - but it sure as hell doesn't hurt. I've never gotten really worked up over a guy who took me for a coffee. It barely even counts.

Tip 2: Dark rooms can be cool - Yeah, so a movie isn't always the greatest place for a first date. But sometimes it can be. If you are really shy, or nervous, it can be a way to think of something to talk about and lead to great conversation afterwards. It is also good if you have known the person outside of dating for some time. Interested in a girl from work and you both want to see the same flick? Why not go together! But in general it's not a great way to get to know someone. That doesn't mean rule all dark rooms out. Be creative. Why not try glow in the dark mini-golf? Or going to a haunted house around Halloween? It's o.k. to think outside the box.

Tip 3: It's o.k. to sparkle a bit - Ok, i.said.it.now.deal. WTF? Why does anyone date you? Guys, you don't have to be too extravagant. But if coffee is your default for all girls in all situations and your level of interest is never a factor, well you just don't deserve to get past a first date. And what is this one-hour time limit? Most of the time you should just suck it up and stick out a few hours for a date. If a date is going that badly it's o.k. to have an exit strategy in your back pocket (yeah, I've done it). But by limiting yourself to one hour you may be cheating yourself out of a really fantastic and memorable time. i.said.it.now.deal acts like a first date is like being forced to sit next to someone you don't know at an awkward dinner party. It's not. You should be on the date because you are interested in the person and therefore want to spend some time getting to know them. And creativity can help. See Tip 1.
 

I do give him some credit though. The bookstore is an interesting idea for some girls (myself included). But if I met up with a guy and the only thing we did was walk through a bookstore I'd probably be like "what was that?". Nice time? Maybe. Date? I don't think so.

Tip 4: At least go to the bank! - Face it guys. Even in the days of "going dutch" or the girl sometimes offering to pay, you are fully expected to pay on the first date. No exceptions. It doesn't mean you have to break the bank. If you are poor, take her for a walk or bike ride in a nice location, or do something active if she's into that. But seriously, buy her a meal or a drink or something at some point during the date. You don't have to break the bank, but if your date maxes out at $2.00 (i.e. coffee) then you just suck. Period.

You wouldn't gamble on the stock market by investing everything you have before doing your research, would you? You are so full of shit.

Tip 5: Beat her to the callback - We agree!!! If you go out with a girl and have a great first date, tell her. Even if you are going to play that "wait two days before you call cause I want to play it cool" crap, at least send a note after the date to let her know you had a nice time. If she did she'll want to hear it. And she'll tell you too.

Read the original AKA male post