There is a photo on my Facebook page of @isaiditnowdeal and I that a friend labeled "The couple that isn't." I know this is how a lot of people see us. We're close and we do fight like a married couple. He checks with me before he buys clothes and I run multiple outfits by him before I leave for the bar (he hates this). Some of our best conversations have taken place while we've shopped for groceries together.
A lot of people see this and think that a guy and a girl who get along this well should be a couple. Why wouldn't they? All of the movies end that way. So cliche.
But real life rarely ends up like romantic comedies.
All of the reasons that @isaiditnowdeal pointed out are very true. I tell him everything, including who I like and who I sleep with. Even the horrible things like when I cheat on someone. He does the same and there is never any judgment between us. That is a rare and wonderful thing that I wouldn't mess up for the world. And if we ever were together, it would be sure to cause huge problems.
We are very different socially. I always want to be out with people. I want to attend every social event that I can and he would never be able to, or want to, keep up with me. In fact, I made him come somewhere on Friday he didn't want to and we fought for an hour.
I'm not ready to settle down. He is. But as someone who was settled down -- five year relationship playing house and homemaker -- I know for certain that I just don't want that again right now. I'm enjoying my life. And there are so many things I want to do and try before I seriously say to a guy it's you and me forever. He, on the other hand, is the responsible one. He's got a house that he wants to be a home.
All very good reasons. But I do have a few more.
1) This builds a bit on his last point. It's not just that I'm not ready to settle down and he is, but the fact that we want very different things out of life. In his 10 year life plan (he actually has one, I most certainly do not) he will be married and have a baby amd be doing house renovations. I'm not sure I want to get married. Someday I want a wedding -- an $800 dollar dress and cake and an awesome party that is all about me and whoever I'm with. But do I actually want or need the piece of paper to go with it? Just not sure. He, on the other hand, has some very specific rules and expectations around marriage. For example, he has to be married in a church. I definitely won't be. Also, I am sure that I am not having a baby any time in the future. No way. This is something I know is important to him. But for me, it's a dealbreaker.
2) We have a very different value system. @isaiditnowdeal is very traditional. He wants the traditional family and life. I'm the exact opposite. My idea of a perfect relationship is someone who wants to travel with me and see the world. He's already done all that. He wants to do more normal, mundane things. I often joke that he is a 50-year-old trapped in a 28-year-old's body. Truth is, likely because of the years I feel I lost in that previous relationship, I'm 28, but much younger. I did the traditional thing, even had an apron. It's not me. It won't ever be for me.
3) Why mess up a good thing? I mentioned that there is never any judgment between us. It's true, I know he will never look at me any differently no matter how horrible anything I say to him is. But on top of that, he always looks out for me and has my best interest at heart. I know he'd punch a guy who messed with me at a bar. He'll take care of me if I'm drunk and lose all good sense. Also, it's nice having a guy to talk to about guys. He gives me advice, tells me when a guy likes me or when they just wants one thing. He talks to me about girls and I'm able to give him advice too. It's not uncomfortable or weird.
So, in short, @isaiditnowdeal is my best friend. And knowing that if we ever did date there would be no future in it, why mess it up for sex? We're not going to wake up in the morning and realize we're in love.
Read the original post by @isaiditnowdeal
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