We met last summer when there were about a million sailors in town. I had been at a bar with some work colleagues and one sailor sent his friend over to come talk to me. After my boss told the friend that if the guy wanted to talk to me he had to come do it himself, the guy came over to ask if I would go out with him later.
He said he couldn't help but notice how beautiful I was. I told him I couldn't help but notice his wedding ring. Oops. Yeah he forgot to take that off. He went away after my coworkers teased him mercilessly when he explained it was a Lord of the Rings ring (I kid you not) and I left to meet some friends.
M was out with the people I was meeting. After relaying what had happened with the sailor M and another friend started laughing. Turns out the sailor had offered M $50 to go over and talk to me when he was walking by the bar. But M didn't take it. He said he wasn't about to go over and harass a girl he didn't know for $50. I thought he was crazy.
But when I told my friend at dinner this, he said he totally believed M wouldn't take the money. He said that M was chivalrous. It isn't a word we use to describe men very often, but in this case it might be true.
M has a girlfriend that he is absolutely in love with. It actually warms the heart to hear him talk about her. Even though he's a great guy in his own right, he seems so proud to be with her. But it's more than that.
In my case, he has more than once gone out of his way to make me feel comfortable in a situation or look out for me. Yet, he's never hit on me or even said anything inappropriate. He also has this really annoying habit of not saying things around me if it relates to the guys in our group. They're his friends and you couldn't get a bad word about them out of him. He's loyal. As irritating as it is, sometimes I gotta respect that. He's just an upstanding guy.
I don't know many guys like M. I know a few who I don't think would cheat on their girlfriends, but none with the level of character this guy seems to have. And thinking of this made me a little sad. It made wonder if chivalry is almost extinct.
I'll confess, I'm not the romantic type. Not in the traditional sense anyway. I feel strange when I go to a fancy restaurant. I'd much rather eat in a pub. While I dream of the guy who is going to fly me around the world in his private jet, in reality I don't like when a guy spends a ton of money on me. But romantic isn't really what I mean here.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I can take care of myself. But sometimes girls just don't want to. Sometimes, most times, it is incredibly sexy to have a guy look out for you. I don't expect guys to joust in my honour (in this day and age anyway), but things like making sure I get home safe, rescuing me if a guy is bothering me (I don't mean hitting them @isaiditnowdeal) or showing concern if something is wrong. I not only appreciate these things, it actually makes me want a guy.
And it's true that I can buy my own drink on a first date. I'm capable. But I'm always unimpressed with a guy who doesn't offer to pay in the beginning. It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with being a gentleman. Same with asking a girl out. If I want you to ask me out, I'll throw cues in your direction, but I'm only going to go out with a guy if he has enough courage to ask me. And I really do think that in these days of lost chivalry, where guys aren't out courting anymore, asking a girl for dinner is a reasonable substitute.
Being attentive is really important. There is a difference between that and smothering (look for smothering in a post coming soon). I don't need a guy around all the time. But when I'm out with a guy, it's important to know he is paying attention. I love when a guy really looks at me, asks questions when I'm talking, comments on my outfit, tells me I look nice.
@isaiditnowdeal doesn't see the point in telling a girl she looks nice. He always says that if he's with a girl, he obviously thinks she looks nice, so why is there a need to say it all the time. The reason is if a girl hears she looks nice, it makes her feel good. If she feels good about herself when she's around you, she'll want to be around.
Anyways, the guys who have successfully held my interest for longer than a couple of months have all had elements of this. There are many things that make we want a guy, but this is an important one. It's a turn on.
Sadly, most of these guys have disappeared. Lots, like @isaiditnowdeal, want women to do more of the work. They seem to think that because we have jobs and are independent, we should also be paying for the date and asking them out.
No girl expects a knight in shining armour or a superhero. But a little bit of chivalry can go a long way. So gentleman (if you are that), if you want a girl, suck it up.
P.S. I know I should have put a knight up, but Spiderman is so hot. I'd totally do him.
Read the reply by @isaiditnowdeal
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