Why Does EVERY Breakup Have to be Epic?

They say breaking up is hard to do. Well, Neil Sedaka does anyway. But why does that ALWAYS seem the case?

I hate breaking up. Not because it's sad. Not because I'm scared I'll hurt someone or be hurt. Solely because it's always long and drawn out and exhausting.

I just broke up with a guy that I was seeing for a couple of months. He was great. He was kind and caring and he really liked me. But he wasn't for me. I tried to stick it out and hoped he'd grow on me (ladies, don't do this!) but everyday I felt I was suffocating.

So I told him this. And what followed was hours of persuasion to try and change my mind and a million follow up phone calls and texts. In total, more than 24 hours of long discussion that kept going nowhere.

Now I know breakups suck, especially if you're on the receiving end.  But does it really need to be this way? I can understand dating for years and putting in 24 hours of dumpsville drama, but two months?

Full disclosure. I haven't been dumped a whole lot. But I have been enough to know how much it can hurt. I usually get mad, may even cry, but ultimately the face to face interaction in ending it is very limited. I live by a simple philosophy: This too shall pass. 

With this in mind, not every breakup has to be dramatic. And it doesn't need to be talked to death. 

In high school everything seems like the end of the world, especially losing a boyfriend. But by the time you hit 20-something, relationships are no longer high school flings. If it is going to be the long-term, forever, starry kind of romance then it has to right for both people. And 20-somethings are much more focused on finding someone for the long hall, especially entering the latter years.

That doesn't mean people should settle. Being compatible, great sex, and sometimes even love, aren't always enough for a relationship to work. And rather than prolonging something that isn't good for either person, isn't the sensible thing just to end it?

I can be as emotional as they come. But I don't want to be in a relationship where the guy is with me because he doesn't want to hurt me. I would think a guy would want the same from me. And interestingly enough, in my experience, guys have just as hard a time letting it go as women - maybe even more.  In either case, if you know, it's best to cut it off before too long. Before you have to figure out ways to divide the couch you bought together. 

So if the relationship isn't super serious, and someone is doing you a favour by telling you it's not right, and you know in your heart of hearts that in time it won't hurt anymore, why not skip the 10 hours of convo?

Yell, scream, cry, talk. Whatever your style is. But let's keep it in the half hour range, k?

Want the male perspective? Check out the reply by i.said.it.now.deal